You can’t plan a dream

Has anyone ever told you that God has a plan for your life?

Yeah, me too.

Perhaps you, like me, have wondered what that plan is and how anyone can be so sure that there is one.

How can it be that the God who flung the universe into existence, keeps the earth spinning on its axis and sustains the sun burning in the distance, took time to create a plan for my life?

Pause right there.

Let’s ditch the word plan. It feels too clinical. Like it belongs on a flip chart in a boardroom.

When we see the English word “plan” in the scriptures, it’s never capturing the full essence of the original language.

In Jeremiah 29:11 most translations render the Hebrew word machashaboth to plans.

“For I know the plans (machashaboth) I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
—Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

This is one of the most famous mentions of God’s so-called “plans” in the Bible. But the word plans only skims the surface of the ocean of meaning within the word machashaboth.

Machashaboth carries with it a sense of loving design, intention, purpose, even creative artistry. To think of this as just a plan is like calling the Grand Canyon a hole in the ground. It’s not untrue, but it’s not even close to the whole truth.

So, let’s scrap the word plan in favor of the word DREAM.

That’s an excerpt from the prologue of my yet-to-be-titled book. My first book. A book I’ve dreamt of writing since I was a little girl. It’s not lost on me that I’m writing about dreams as I chase a personal dream. It’s a lot of dreams within a dream. How many times can I use the word dream in one paragraph? Well, there goes another one.

It’s been two years since I decided to write this book. Some days it doesn’t feel like I’m chasing anything at all. Many days it feels more like I’m hanging on to the bottom of a hot-air balloon. Other days I’m being dragged behind a runaway train. Both of which are actual dreams I’ve had, I think.

This project has taught me that a dream is not a plan, and a plan is not a dream. Dreams without plans will lead to passionate frustration, and plans without dreams become nothing more than perfunctory to-do lists. You need both, but confusing them will cause you to lose your way.

You simply cannot plan a dream. You have to let it breathe while your plans build scaffolding to support it. The plan is there to serve the dream, not the other way around.

I’ve had to learn to make plans for my dream, but not to allow the dream to get lost in the patchwork of my plans. It’s truly the definition of organized chaos.

I wonder if the writers of the scriptures needed outlines and sticky notes. Did they write, rewrite, then rewrite their re-writes before they landed on the words we read today? Even considering that they might have makes me feel better about my own manuscripting journey.

I have been radio silent with sharing excerpts because I’ve been second-guessing everything. Over-planning. Under-dreaming. Fighting through some of the very things I hope this book will help others overcome: perfectionism, fear of rejection, comparison. Ugh.

I know what it feels like to write from a place of freedom and courage. I’ve had run-ins with these old friends in the past couple of years, but we never keep company for long.

I’ve been thinking about Paul’s words to the Galatians:

So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law. -Galatians 5

On the tree of my life, my writing, something that has always been so free, has become a legislative branch. And I am the chief lawmaker. The majority whip, if you will.

But I’ve decided to get over it. To write without putting everything on the floor for a vote. To get free and stay free. To share what I have even when I have nothing to share. Or even when I have what feels like a lot of nothing. To stop letting the plans suffocate the dream, and to stop trying to chase a dream without a plan.

You’ll be seeing more from me. Book excerpts and even unpublished essays I’ve been writing along the way. Stick around if you want. Or unsubscribe if you wish. You too are free.